Things Never Change

So once again I was a fucking Idiot and saved all my work for the last minute. Here's the story


*One month ago
My Boss: Hey Greg do this documentation, you can probably do a little at a time, and just have it done for the end of October

Me: Sure thing Lesbo

*4 Hours ago

Me: HOLY FUCK, I still havent done that documentation you piece of shit.

*Turns on Debate
*Masterbates

Furiously pumps out documentation

*1 Minute ago

Now that I'm almost done and the sense of urgency is gone, I can procrastinate the end of this work by blogging and waste another 20 minutes.

I'm going to be so fucking tired tomorrow BRO. WHOOOOOOOOPPPPP


Hey Todd.............................................................. FAG

The Real World

Seriously how much of a kick in the nuts is the real world. I sat down the other day after work all lonely and shit and the only thing left to do was jerk off. OK OK so some things are similar... but still, no one was yelling "MICHAEL SLAFSKY" the whole time I was doing it, so it wasn't the same. Oh wait, that was just me huh, damnit. Fuck, well there is still plenty of other things.

1) When am I going to show my parents my townhouse for the first time while my roomate is simultaneously jerking off, and then proceeds to shake my dads hand without washing his hands. 

2) When will I be able to throw eggs over the house into the driveway infront. (I threw eggs the other day, but it was boring because I had to make sure I didnt hit cars so it was basically throwing them into the woods....... Forget you ever heard that, thats depressing as hell seeing it in writing.) 

3) When can I call someone a homo for no reason. I cant go up to my co-worker and be like, 

"Hey Mike, you do anything interesting last night?"

"No Greg, pretty average night"

"Oh so you sucked a dick like normal huh, Fag"

4) When can I yell random shit whenever the fuck I feel like it just to get a laugh

"Go back to the 90's FAGGOTS"

"Across the field OOOHHHHHHHH"

"WHHOOOOOOPPP"

...Shit just doesn't fly 

Well this lasted a while

....thats what she said

After a good run of no comments and a few thousand views that probably came from me refreshing the site waiting for comments, I am realizing that our blog is the WNBA of professional sports, the Block Buster of movie rentals, and the shake weight of exercise equipment. I mean dont get me wrong we post some good shit on here, just no one ever logs on to see it... Lazy fuckers.

Peace out Fuckers.... im not coming back till we get our first comment....

7th innning stretch

Slammin Tammy Sammy Sosa Nelson. I guess that little hermaphrodite Lady Gaga just found her mother.

Dance Party

This guy is THE FUCKING MAN. Yes I laughed, I laughed hard, but no I will not make fun him. He represents everything we believe in here @ Blog370. The ability to enjoy yourself and laugh about it and not care who else may be laughing at you or with you. Sean Stevenson! Sean Stevenson! Sean Stevenson!

Popcorn? Cockporn?

Im pretty sure these two popcorn kernels are guys, in which case this commercial is extremely gay. Pop Secret had me with the Caddyshack and Dark Knight commercials because both of those movies are friggen awesome. But you gotta know when enough is enough, quit while your ahead. When did PopSecret come out of the closet? I would rather buy popcorn from Orville Redenbacher's pedophile/Pee-Wee Herman looking ass then from a couple of queer popcorn kernels. PopSecret you no longer have my support.

Seattle Steppin it Up

(AP)  SEATTLE (AP) - Something new is on the menu at a renovated Starbucks in Seattle: beer and wine.
The store that reopened Monday is the first under the Starbucks brand to offer alcohol.
Craft beer and local wines go on sale after 4 p.m. The idea is to offer drinks and a wider variety of savory food that will attract customers after the morning espresso rush.

---Read the rest of this entry---

Whoever owns Starbucks is a genius. They certainly know the way to the heart of Americans, through coffee and through alcohol. They also know everyone in Seattle hates themselves and wants to drink they're lives away. Nothing like waking up everyday to rain and cloudy skies. Then looking forward to some of their fantastic professional sports teams. When you think pro sports you think the big 4: football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. Well in Seattle they dont have an NHL team and their NBA team moved out faster than a 13 year old boy pre-cums during his first handjob. Hey look on the bright side at least they have WNBA and Major League Soccer teams...HAHAHA.

Seattle still a few lightyears behind New Orleans with their SuperBowl ring and drive thru-daiquiris.