The Real World

Seriously how much of a kick in the nuts is the real world. I sat down the other day after work all lonely and shit and the only thing left to do was jerk off. OK OK so some things are similar... but still, no one was yelling "MICHAEL SLAFSKY" the whole time I was doing it, so it wasn't the same. Oh wait, that was just me huh, damnit. Fuck, well there is still plenty of other things.

1) When am I going to show my parents my townhouse for the first time while my roomate is simultaneously jerking off, and then proceeds to shake my dads hand without washing his hands. 

2) When will I be able to throw eggs over the house into the driveway infront. (I threw eggs the other day, but it was boring because I had to make sure I didnt hit cars so it was basically throwing them into the woods....... Forget you ever heard that, thats depressing as hell seeing it in writing.) 

3) When can I call someone a homo for no reason. I cant go up to my co-worker and be like, 

"Hey Mike, you do anything interesting last night?"

"No Greg, pretty average night"

"Oh so you sucked a dick like normal huh, Fag"

4) When can I yell random shit whenever the fuck I feel like it just to get a laugh

"Go back to the 90's FAGGOTS"

"Across the field OOOHHHHHHHH"

"WHHOOOOOOPPP"

...Shit just doesn't fly