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Monday, October 25, 2010

Well this lasted a while

....thats what she said

After a good run of no comments and a few thousand views that probably came from me refreshing the site waiting for comments, I am realizing that our blog is the WNBA of professional sports, the Block Buster of movie rentals, and the shake weight of exercise equipment. I mean dont get me wrong we post some good shit on here, just no one ever logs on to see it... Lazy fuckers.

Peace out Fuckers.... im not coming back till we get our first comment....

Thursday, October 21, 2010

7th innning stretch

Slammin Tammy Sammy Sosa Nelson. I guess that little hermaphrodite Lady Gaga just found her mother.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dance Party

This guy is THE FUCKING MAN. Yes I laughed, I laughed hard, but no I will not make fun him. He represents everything we believe in here @ Blog370. The ability to enjoy yourself and laugh about it and not care who else may be laughing at you or with you. Sean Stevenson! Sean Stevenson! Sean Stevenson!


Popcorn? Cockporn?

Im pretty sure these two popcorn kernels are guys, in which case this commercial is extremely gay. Pop Secret had me with the Caddyshack and Dark Knight commercials because both of those movies are friggen awesome. But you gotta know when enough is enough, quit while your ahead. When did PopSecret come out of the closet? I would rather buy popcorn from Orville Redenbacher's pedophile/Pee-Wee Herman looking ass then from a couple of queer popcorn kernels. PopSecret you no longer have my support.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Seattle Steppin it Up

(AP)  SEATTLE (AP) - Something new is on the menu at a renovated Starbucks in Seattle: beer and wine.
The store that reopened Monday is the first under the Starbucks brand to offer alcohol.
Craft beer and local wines go on sale after 4 p.m. The idea is to offer drinks and a wider variety of savory food that will attract customers after the morning espresso rush.


Whoever owns Starbucks is a genius. They certainly know the way to the heart of Americans, through coffee and through alcohol. They also know everyone in Seattle hates themselves and wants to drink they're lives away. Nothing like waking up everyday to rain and cloudy skies. Then looking forward to some of their fantastic professional sports teams. When you think pro sports you think the big 4: football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. Well in Seattle they dont have an NHL team and their NBA team moved out faster than a 13 year old boy pre-cums during his first handjob. Hey look on the bright side at least they have WNBA and Major League Soccer teams...HAHAHA.

Seattle still a few lightyears behind New Orleans with their SuperBowl ring and drive thru-daiquiris.

Macklemore!

Macklemore the HipHop/Rapper reppin Seattle, Washinton. Not alot of exposure yet, but expect some big things from him in the future.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Case of the Mondays




Well it's 11 pm, and I havn't started any work...All I have acomplished was apllying for two tax internships that I won't even land an interview for. If comercial airline pilots have a hard time landing interviews, they should look for a job in the Hudson Bay or that IRS building that was crashed into by some crazy chode that did not want to pay taxes. Cheap prick...we need to bailout the airlines with your tax money.


Well enough about politicocks. Big news. You may not know this, but I'm pretty fucking cool. I'm a certified DJ that tested postive for G.A.M.E. (and HIV/aids). Tune in at http://www.wjmf887.com/ to listen to my show 'Case of the Mondays' and win some FREE TICKETS to a concert in Pawtucket! Call-in 401-232-6150!!!!! Check out the Bands! October 19th doors 8pm


again http://www.wjmf887.com/ 10-noon Monday baby.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Condoms Strike Again

Vt. Lawsuit Claiming Condom In Whopper Is Dropped

(AP) MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) - A former Vermont man who claimed he bit into a Burger King sandwich and found an unwrapped condom has dropped his lawsuit, with the restaurant agreeing to drop its counterclaim.

The man and the store's owners agreed to pay their own legal costs.

The plaintiff's attorney, Devin McLaughlin, said Friday that the details of the settlement are confidential and won't be disclosed, but the owner-operator of the Rutland restaurant says forensic analysis of the object and surveillance video prove it didn't originate in the Burger King.

Read the rest HERE


I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me that this kid was jerking off with a condom and his mom walked in. So like any other guy he looked for the first place to get rid of it before she noticed. Then he had to follow through with the whole "condom in the Burger" deal so she wouldn't find out. I mean, if he didnt go all the way and press charges, she would have known he was lying. So you kind of have to side with him on this one. Could have been much worse....(Skip to 2:40)


Friday, October 15, 2010

T.P Tosser Arrested

A Framingham man threw a roll of toilet paper at a town custodian Wednesday because he thought he was inappropriately whistling in a restroom at the Memorial Building, police said.
Allen Kerner, 55, will be summoned to Framingham District Court for hitting the janitor in the head with the roll, police spokesman Lt. Ron Brandolini said.


This guy minding his own business decides hey I need to use the bathroom. Heads to the little boys room to take a dump and ends up in deep shit. Yup assault and battery with toilet paper, I betcha didn't see that coming...BOOM!  This janitor shoulda read his scouting report. You cant just heckle any shitter you want. He messed with the wrong hombre today, this guy had heard enough and chucked a roll of toilet paper at him...BOOM...Head shot! What a pussy janitor learn how to take a hit, isn't that in your job description. Last time I checked toilet paper was soft, but hey nobody asked for my opinion.

I can promise you one thing, this would not happen on Christopher Walkin's time that's for damn sure. Step your game up Mr. Anonymous Custodian.



Typical day in the life of a MASShole.

Make Room on the Shelf

Uncle Abe's foot injury has been upgraded from the 15-day DL to a season ending injury. And 'A Couple of Flags' will wave down the regular season, and fly into the post-season without 14.3% of their offense and 14.3% of their defense.

Lookin on the bright side of things, they fit me with an absolute pussy magnet of a boot that makes me look like Napoleon Fuckin Dynamite!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Uncle Abe 15 Day-DL

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) - A surgeon and other staff have been suspended and public health officials have launched an investigation after a piece of a surgical drill bit was left inside a patient's head following a procedure at Rhode Island Hospital.
"The hospital was fined $50,000 after brain surgeons operated on the wrong part of the heads of three patients in 2007."



So I basically break my foot in half playing flag football today, and this is exactly the article I want to see as I get ready to head to Rhode Island hospital. They sure know how to take care of their patients. To make a long story short our team is dominant. We played down a man pretty much the whole game and still pulled out the victory against 'El Nino'.
A Couple of Flags >  El Nino

- PS- Wake me up when the playoffs start

The Porn Industry is Getting Fucked

Porn studios halt production in wake of actor's positive HIV test

By Shaya Tayefe Mohajer, Associated Press Writer

LOS ANGELES — More than half a dozen pornographers in California's multibillion-dollar adult entertainment industry have halted production after an actor tested positive for HIV — and more shutdowns were expected.

Vivid Entertainment Group and Wicked Pictures were among the companies that announced production halts as a precaution.

"From Vivid's perspective, there was no question that when we heard this, we immediately shut down production and said let's get the facts and evaluate them before we move forward," Steven Hirsch, the founder of Vivid, one of the largest makers of adult films, said Wednesday.


Read the rest
HERE

What a bunch of PUSSIES. One person gets a little sick and now every man in the world has to jerk it to the same old shit for a month. Besides how are you supposed to jerk it now knowing that the girl your watching could be getting HIV right then? You cant unless your a Sick Bastard!

P.S. Check out the last line. "Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt andGirls Gone Wild chief executive Joe Francis called for a $5 billion federal bailout. They said adult DVD sales and rentals decreased 22%." HAHAH
Like they have to be joking right. They actually think the recession caused porn sales to drop. Hey Flynt, get the dick out of your mouth and type "Porn" into google. Just a thought but maybe your sales dropped because only idiots pay for porn now.

P.S.S.
Here is a Quick and Easy Aids test, (Skip to 1:55).... (Or not becuase Mitch Hedberg is Fucking Hilarious)

Where in the World is Carmen "Coach Dick" Sandiego?



1. I havent seen Coach Dick in probably the last 48 hours.
2. The last time I saw him he was swimming and he had these same exact goggles on.
3. Weirdly enough he lived in Florida for a few years in a town they call Melbourne.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. Glue the rest of pieces together if you want, but this case is closed tighter than Heidi Montag's relationship with her plastic surgeon.

Would You Rather...

Would you rather give up getting blowjobs for the rest of your life, or give up eating cheese for the rest of your life?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Damn Bus Driver Drives like an Animal


A Ottertail Minn-Dakota Coaches school bus missed a curve and went off Big Chief Road around 4:30 p.m. on Monday, nearly hitting a tree and a house. There were no injuries. The only two people remaining on the bus were bus driver Sharon Carr and 10-year-old Cleveland Elementary student Andrew Rasmusson.


Really no need to read this whole article, just picking out a few key quotes, the story practically writes itself. For the 2nd time this week Ottertail County in Minnesota finds themselves on Blog370 = not good. Residents of Ottertail County get out while you can cause "they rapin everybody" this town is going to shit. And who the hell has a satellite dish in their front yard?

1. "The only two people remaining on the bus were bus driver Sharon Carr and 10-year-old Cleveland Elementary student Andrew Rasmusson."
- Only two people on this whole friggen bus, you know what that means? Yup little Andy is gettin his freak on. Or this kid is the biggest pussy in the whole school. I remember most kids got dropped off at the bus stop in groups and had to walk home. Then there was always that little bitch kid who cant handle the big leagues and needed to get dropped off at the end of his driveway.

2. "After making sure that Andrew was uninjured, Carr sent him home"
- Making sure Andrew was uninjured AKA giving this kid the rim job of a lifetime.

3. “Not even the bus driver comes up to my door to tell me what happened,” said Blumberg
- Believe me Mrs. Blumberg you're better off not knowing what happened.

4. “The bus company was really nonchalant about it and really blew it off,” said Kimberly.
- Hahahaha Oh Kimberly that is not the only thing getting blown off here.

5. Clark said it appeared that Carr “just misjudged at the corner” of the roadway.
- Misjudged the corner, you fuckin think?

6. Andrew was reading a book and sitting toward the front of the bus when the bus went off the road.
- Maybe in the Leave it to Beaver era kids would read books on the bus and get a head start on the homework. But this is 2010 pal, the bus is an absolute jungle. Kids fighting, gambling, fucking, smoking, it looks like a free Wiz Khalifa concert in Boston.

This is Weediculous

Single farmers in Vermont give 'weed dating' a whack
TUNBRIDGE, Vt. — Ben Wolfe was a little nervous, he admitted, as he stood waiting one recent afternoon at Tunbridge Hill Farm in central Vermont.

His apprehension had nothing to do with farming, and everything to do with meeting someone new. He was about to participate in an event called weed dating, a meet-up for single farmers looking for a date or a mate.

Weed dating is a variation on speed dating, in which participants meet in pairs for a few minutes, typically in a bar or restaurant, and then move on to another rapid pairing. It was the brainchild of Jean and Wendy Palthey, who have farmed in Tunbridge for 18 years.

"We have this one young guy who works for us," Jean Palthey says, "and he's single and lives in Chelsea, and we were joking that there are not a lot of young, single people around here, so we came up with this idea."

Much weeding but no weddings yet

Weed dating takes place on farms among rows of sprouting produce. Participants weed a row with a potential romantic interest, then move on to another row and another partner. At the end of the day, some people might have cultivated a mutual interest — and no matter, the field is freshly weeded.

Weed the rest Here http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2010-10-04-weeddating04_ST_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip


By the sounds of it, the only thing he will be whacking at is himself after this date. Besides everyone knows weeding is womens work, so I cant really see this working at all. Even if it did its still not anything like speed dating. You cant just set an alarm on your phone and say you have a family emergency to get out of it. I mean, your weed dating, theres no way in hell you have any family or friends at that point. You could get stuck there for an hour with some bitch talking about how she has sex with horses or something. I mean jesus, you cant even lie about where you work and make yourself sound better. Sounds like weed dating is pretty Weetaded...



Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Parenting 101

The Sebeka police chief might be a little embarrassed after finding police equipment he thought had been stolen from his house in a fort his kids built in the backyard.
Sebeka Police Chief Eric Swenson, who lives in Otter Tail County near Sebeka, called law enforcement on Friday to report that several items of police equipment had been stolen from his home, according to the Otter Tail Sheriff’s Department.


Police Chief calls law enforcement reporting that several items of police equipment were stolen from his house. Only to find them a few days later in his kids homemade fort in the backyard: "Among the items were stun grenades, gas grenades, 25 gas shotgun rounds, loaded magazines for both a Glock 9 millimeter handgun and a AR-15 rifle, a police radio and a pair of night vision goggles."

Well its safe to say that Otter Tail County in Minnesota is fucked. How do you expect this guy to protect every citizen of the county from crime and danger, when he cant even protect his own kid. Its not like he's some run of the mill Paul Blart mall cop either, this guy is the Chief of Fucking Police! The article also fails to mention how old his kid is. Kid has a fort which has gotta make him around 8 or 9 right? I mean unless your my 20 year old grown man/roommate that has a fort. Well either way this kid is a sick bastard, he sounds like the second coming of the Trenchcoat Mafia. You know what they say, "Give a kid an inch, he'll take a mile, a couple grenades, and a shotgun." And America continues to crumble right in front of my very own eyes.

Worst Movie of the Week

























Ok Ladies and Gentlemen last week Good Burger was the movie I shat on, but at least it was a good childhood movie. This movie, Jennifer's Body, might just be the worst movie ever created. First of all whoever wrote the dialog for this movie was probably a 50 year old petafile that jerks-off into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before giving them to elementary school children. How do i know this? Here is an example of retarded dialog. At the end of the movie Megan Fox, Jennifer, gets stabbed in the chest and she says "Oh you stabbed my tit," and then just dies. What the FUCK is that? I mean come-on is that really the best line you got.

The only reason i even continued to watch this movie after the first 15 minutes was because of Megan Fox and how she just hooks up with that nerdy blonde girl (who is secretly smokin' hot).

And another thing that pisses me off is this is supposed to be a scary movie. There is nothing scary about one of the hottest fucking girls in the world hooking up with another hot girl. Idk who thought this was supposed to be scary. I think i had a hard-on the whole time I watched this. This movie would have been better off if it was a cheap shitty porn for married men to spank it too because they hate their lives.

Well that's all i have to say. See you cunts next time for the worst movie of the week,
A Nice Lady

K. Flay - 2 Weak

K. Flay you fly pie in the sky, you have done it again. Just launching a new album today behind my back. And remixing the beat from Grillzy Bear? Wait till Brown Bear Mathur hears this and you'll be hearing his mating call....needless to say, I hope your in heat like King 'i'm gay' James. Anywho, for real, the beat, the lyrics, the everything is ill'er than the Jimmy Fund. Girl has more flow than an artery.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Kenny Powers is Back


If your and idiot like me and found a way to miss Season 2, episode 3 of Eastbound & Down worry no longer. Check it out here



Is Mike Tyson the real life Kenny Powers?
Absolutely
No...Tyson is in a league of his own

  
pollcode.com free polls

Fat Kids Finish Last



Oh this tickles me in a spot, if Loretta tickled me there, "I'd say, oh yeah, mmm, I like me some of that." On a serious note, you know that fat kid at the beach, perhaps your fat therefore, funny friend, who wears his t-shirt at the beach. At first its like, yeah, I get it, sunburn. But then, when you grab your boogie boards to get your surf on, your big fatty fat platypose of a friend doesn't leave his Plain-White Tee at the turf! So naturally your like "Hey There Dililia, whats it like in underbelly city. Your pounds overweight, and right now you look so silly, yes you do." Ultimiately, you see his man tits through the shirt, so, just man up. If I was overweight, I'd love it. Whole new arsonal of jokes. I'd be the funniest man alive. Some people have all the luck. So either take off the shirt, or get your stomache stappled you God Damn Grilled Cheeze Burger Mouth eating fat mother, fat titties, titty-mother fuckers.

Prison Escape Attempt



Technique- 6.4 Pretty solid form here, let his hands separate towards the end and that really cost him big time here.
Creativity- 9.6 Really gotta tip your cap, love the originality, nobody has ever attempted a move of this magnitude.
Execution - 1.2 Flat out his just didn't work here, he had a plan and just didn’t execute. Looks like its back to the drawing board for this guy.

Overall Score- 5.73

Gotta love the utter disbelief at the 1:12 mark. I feel like this guy wholeheartedly thought this was his ticket to freedom.

Mr Pregnant

We present to you the Internet Legend that is Mr. Pregnant. Somehow I've never seen or heard about this guy before. He's got over 600 videos uploaded on his youtube page. If you have the patience to wade through alot of these videos you will definately stumble upon a few gems trust me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

There's About to Be a What? GIRLFIGHT!


 Before he was dealt to Minnesotta, Randy Moss and Tom Brady had a verbal altercation in which they needed to be separated. So Tom "Beiber Fever" Brady tells Randy Moss to shave his beard. Moss responded by telling Brady he should cut his hair, because he looks like a girl. As the old saying goes, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Brady telling Moss he looks like an idiot is like taking workout advice from Kelly Osbourne, it just doesnt make sense. With Moss gone, the Pats wont have to worry about if this altercation would create any awkwardness on the field or in the clubhouse. However things might get a little weird for Moss when he starts hangin out with Brett Favre and his cock pictures.

Which looks worse?
Tom Brady's hair
Randy Moss' beard
  
pollcode.com free polls

I Remember My First Beer



Gotta applaud the effort here. This was a lose lose situation from the get go. You have two options here, either make it down and slam straight into the wall, or eat shit. He decided to eat shit. Either this kid needs to re-evalutate his friends, or this is orientation and he's just trying to fit in. Anyways just your typical college weekend. Hands down my favorite part is when Lance Armstrong's pseudofriend goes "Ohhhh you shattered my phone," um sorry man I'm the one who just shattered my vertebrate so suck a dick buddy.

Picture of my Nuts After Going Out Tonight

So I was in my room deciding whether or not I should wear pants or shorts, and guess what I chose? Pants you fucking idiot I'm not that dumb. But of course I left my sweatshirt behind and I payed for it BIG TIME. Like I haven't checked yet but I'm pretty sure my Dick fell off...




Friday, October 8, 2010

You Steal My Banana, I Pull Gun on You

A neighborly dispute over bananas has resulted in the arrest of a Port St. Lucie man.
Richard Jeff told police that he was walking in his back yard this week and picking up branches and debris when his 85-year-old neighbor Joseph Giacomo confronted him.
Jeff said Giacomo accused him of stealing bananas from his tree.



Around the retirement center this guy probably has more street cred than Tupac. I know two things in life, (1) Its impossible to lick your elbow and (2) You don't fuck with Joe Giacomo and his bananas. As weird as it is for someone to pull a gun over a fuckin banana i have a soft spot in my heart for this guy. He's 85 years old and he doesnt give a shit. He does what he wants cause he's gonna die soon anyways. I'm sure there are plenty of nights filled with strippers, gun fights, and parcheesi for Mr. Giacomo. Drink it down and live it up old man, keep on keepin on! God Bless

Male Enhancement Underwear...."My Dick VIP, Your Shit Needs ID"


By Lisa Marsh
For centuries, women have had tools to enhance their natural, er, assets. Corsets, padded brassieres, silicone breast enhancers (aka “chicken cutlets”), girdles, shapewear, and even breast and butt implants have allowed women to practice the art of illusion — something men have mostly been excluded from.
"One design provides a 20 percent visual lift in back; the other a 38 percent visual enhancement in front."


I've been staring at this guys pecker for a solid ten minutes and I still cant tell which pair is the "enhanced underpants." If someone held a gun to my head and said pick which one is the enchanced pair, I couldn't say with 100 percent confidence I would know the answer. Im going with the pair on the right, and it basically just looks like hes wearing spandex or small briefs. And this 38% visual enhancement figure they're throwing around, I dont see how it can be proven. This guy probably had 38% of a boner when they measured him wearing this magic underwear. Basically this invention sucks about as bad as the Segway, and that doesnt bode well for their Owner.

What Really Chaps My Ass!



THIS IS WHAT REALLY CHAPS MY ASS! When i first looked at this picture I was like oh look at all that strawberry ice cream, but nope that is not what it is at all. That is what fucking fast food chicken looks like before it is breaded and cooked. Are you fucking kidding me fast food establishments! I would literally rather eat a poopy flavored lolly pop then even smell that gross pile of nothingness.
Do the people who make fast food nuggets really think that this is what customers really want to eat? I think NOT! And why the fuck is it pink? I for one will never be eating fast food nuggets ever again.
I am officially labeling eating fast food nuggets "Gayer than Coach Dick fucking a 10 pound blob of pizza dough!"
For everyone that makes this unhealthy, pink, ice-cream looking shit you can sit on my MONSTER fucking dong and rotate.

Fuck you,
A Nice Lady

White Panda is Fly Like a G6

Hold The Party And Bullshit by whitepandamusic I Wish I Broke Your Heart by whitepandamusic Hate Dynamite by whitepandamusic


For more check out http://www.thewhitepanda.com/ , shit tons of free downloads.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Vampires Stab Roommate to Drink his Blood

  CHANDLER, Ariz. - Twilight, True Blood, the Vampire Diaries... pop culture makes being a vampire look glamorous. But the vampire trend has taken a dangerous turn -- as two people are arrested in connection to the stabbing of a 25-year-old man and efforts to drink his blood.

No you didn't misread the title, these people are 'Real' Fake life vampires. First of all, who would ever agree to live with this tandom of Count Chocula and Rosie O'Donnell Jr anyways? Apparently these two never got the memo that Edward Cullen and the rest of his pals are FAKE. These two freaks being vampires and living in fantasy land isn't even the real kicker here, the guy they stabbed ends up getting arrested on a warrant for violating his probation. Imagine being in this guys shoes, wake up thinking its just some ordinary day, then BAM stabbed...BAM arrested, oh yea I guess we can clean you up before you die of blood loss. Sounds like your typical Thursday afternoon in Chandler, Arizona.


Red Sox Showing Some Love

OWWWW. OWWWIEEE. OWWWWW

I felt like I was watching April being tricked by Bam, except instead of Bam, it was a weird tattoo artist wearing his signature 'Lucky Shirt' his mom bough him for the weekly Friday Middle School Dance at the Lions Hall. I know what you are all thinking, this bitch is crazy. Well you know what, Fuck You San Diego. She's old enough to be your mother, and would you ever want to see your mom in pain? No. If you do, you probably like the movie Major Payne, which means you are a walk-in closet queer, not your typical queer.



Well okay, I digress. If it looks like tuna, smells like tuna, its probably your exgirlfriend's smelly snatch. This bitch is a cunt. She goes all power crazy. She wants to be a bad-ass. She talked all fucking the month about getting a barbed wire heart on her back, and now she can't handle it. At 1:52, she gets served. Can I speak to the manager. I am the manager. Leave and enjoy you 1/8 finished tattoo that looks like a swastika you Nazi cunt.

Getting a Little Shut Eye

PHOENIX - She reached for eyedrops and instead used superglue -- and it happens a lot more often than you might think.
Irmgard Holm had cataract surgery last year. She mistakenly reached for what she thought was one of her half dozen eyedrop medications -- but the burning sensation that followed let her know something was seriously wrong.



Looks like Ms. Irmgard Holmes will be in line for another cataract surgery sooner than later. As the old saying goes "I'm rubber and your glue, my eyes will never open so I can't see you." So she immediately tried washing it out but with no such luck? You gotta be faster than that. I remember back in elementary school trying to glue together pieces of construction paper, that shit took HOURS to dry. She probably had about a 2 hour window of opportunity and she missed it, so she paid the price. Some people will never learn.

PS- Irmgard really doing her best Miss Lippy impression here, but color me unimpressed.



More Reason to Raw Dog It

Thousands of condoms clog Games village drains?

NEW DELHI (Reuters) – Thousands of flushed condoms threaten to choke the Commonwealth Games village's drainage system, media reports said, in the latest problem to hit the venue from hidden snakes to outbreaks of dengue.

Games organizers, who won a race against time to ready the village, are now battling to clear clogged drains after thousands of non-biodegradeable contraceptives were flushed down toilets in the first week of the event.

"If that is happening, it shows that there is use of condoms and I think that is a very positive story. Athletes are being responsible," Commonwealth Games Federation President Mike Fennell told a news conference Thursday.

"We all know that encouraging safe sex is a very important thing to do."

Read the rest here


Fucking knew it, not only do condoms ruin sex, they clog the shit out of drains. Like every time I hook up with a girl I tell her "cmon baby it ruins the feeling" besides, everyone knows the Pull out method is 100% effective. Works every time.... except for that one time where I had to push a girl down the stairs.

P.S. What was that line they said about "hidden snakes" isnt that where the problem started, to many athletes hiding their snakes?

Massachusetts Woman Chucks Bag of Poop at Speeding Motorist



A Massachusetts woman faces assault charges after Belmont police said she hit a motorist in the face with a bag of dog feces.



Sox not making the Playoffs...Moss gets traded...Thanks to this Warrior we still have plenty to be proud of if your from Massachusetts. I'm still not grasping how this all went down. So a lady hits a guy with a bag of dog shit while he's driving? Did she just throw on her PF flyers and sprint up next to this guys car. Knock on his car window til he rolled it down, then groove a 95mph shit-fingered fastball at his grill? I guess I'll just have to chalk this up as another one of life's many mysteries.

*She is reportedly being charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Next time I go into sketchy areas of Boston I'm leaving my piece at home, I'll just shit my pants.

31 Year Old Ohio Woman/Justin Long Look-a-like Pretended to Be a Boy to Date a Teen Girl

 

A 31-year-old woman who posed as a teenage boy, cutting her hair and using male aliases, so she could date teenage girls pleaded guilty Wednesday and was sentenced to six months in jail.


There isn't a single bone in my body that says this is a chick. 100 times out of 100 i look at this picture and think its a dude. You really cant blame the 16 year old girl here, this looks like your prototypical high school freshman/sophomore guy. Best part of the article is how they sneak this line in at the end "Dye's parents are in poor health." Well no fucking shit, I wonder why? I'm sure it has nothing to due with your 31 year old daughter going full dyke and prancing around the Sadie's Hawkins dance at the local High School picking up underage chicks. How are they supposed to sleep at night.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Facebook me


Done blogging for the night, dont wanna miss the show

I bet she goes to private school

So, apparently a mom locked her lil' daughter and her son in the car when she went to Parenting 101 at the local Civic Center, and look what happens? This girls going to grow up to the future Ms. Harlem. Her laughter was so innocent too. When she says motherfucker, I actually stopped laughing. My heart sank. How did she know my secret? (I fucked my high school teacher who had kids.......I was home-schooled) (get it, mother-fucker) (gay)

Who Needs Dance Moves When You Can Just Rape Your Brother?


Alright, so I was getting ready to just go off and shit on this video, but then I realized, these kids might just be retarted. Starts off with some kid passed out on the couch (his brother most likely sexually assaulted him) , then they start dancing. Flailing around like they just made the field hockey team or something. What really gets me is the move at 1:02. Like the kid in yellow obviously choreographed this move just so he could grind up against his little brother. Finally at 1:15 the kid realizes his brother just boned him and kicks him in dick.

Birthday Party?



Ever make that little mistake of typing http://www.youtube,cin/ when trying to type in http://www.youtube.com/ ? Well if you haven't you've been missing out on this absolute diamond in the rough

In no way can I even begin to analyze, interpret, or grasp what is taking place in this video sooooo just let it happen

110m Desk Hurdles



Somehow this video has 1.6 million views and I have a strange feeling I account for about 1.3 million of them. This is one of those videos that on Mom and Dad's 25th Annivesary they decide to pull out the old VHS of their wedding just to reminisce only to find that little Chuckie taped over it with this display of pure athletic ability.

Chuck: "I'm about to attempt to jump this thing which is about two ft high, three actually."
Cameraman: "I'd say four."

Four feet? Are you fuckin drunk? If this thing is 4ft tall this video is ten times more impressive cause not too many 8'2" kids can walk, let alone hurdle shit like Marion Jones mid steroid cycle.

Chuck: "What do you think? Can I make it?"
Cameraman: "I think so!.............BOOOOOMMM!!!"

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Bear in the Bryant University Library!!!!





















So i'm sitting there minding my own business and studying for my management test aka looking at Facebook, and Here comes this fucking brown bear. So of course im sitting there pissing my pants hoping it doesnt see me, and everyone else just acts like nothing is happening. Like is this some everyday event, a god damn bear all up in your shit in the library... Well where I'm from We blast bears right back into hibernation with a tranquelizer dart to the dick.

I like it in the

Pussy. Fuck feminism.

Is this Papa Lo? Regardless, Fan-fucking-tastic beat!

The only thug thing I can think about the movies is maybe from the Chapelle Show's 'Greatest Moments in Hook-up History' when the fag cut a hole in the popcorn bag and that slut reach in to get some popcorn, and got some cock. And like Enriche Englasies. baby she liked it (his cock prob wouldn't even fit in the bag)...I guess butter makes for great lube.........but come'on. this guy is not thug enough to try this move. I can prove it through the following list:

1) His hats are from the 5 dollars or less section of Olympia Sports.
2) His bling cost 50 cents which he purchased rightnext to the enter and exit doors of a Market Basket
3) He isn't using an iPhone, its really just an iTouch
4) Jean jacket from TJMax's 1992 accidental purchase from FUBU subdivision, 'Lil FUPAS'
5) Did I say Jean jacket?
6) His voice isn't even an accent, its a disability. I'm not hating, I think he actually has one.
7) The lyric "Let me pay the money so we can get in"
a. Thugs don't pay period
b. Thugs especially don't pay for woman
c. He continues to say, you can lay on my chest... Should be mowing his Mr. Happy.
8) The use of irrelevant Clip Art.



Goodbye forever Good Burger



Ok so Im sitting in the room bored as shit, a little buzzed, and i have no fucking idea what to do.  So i start looking through Brownbears movie collection and I come across Good Burger.  So im like holy fucking shit, this movie is the tits.  I had it fixated that I could watch Good Burger for days.  So i pop it in and get really excited, but after the first ten minutes I want to punt a football right into Kel Mitchell (Ed's) dick.  This movie completely sucked my right nut.  The only reason i even liked this movie at all was because Sinbad was in it.

I should have never watched this movie at the age of 20.  It completely ruined on of my favorite child hood movies.  For this I will never forgive myself.

For all my roomates reading this if I ever try to ruin another childhood movie again take a fucking Salmo butter knife to my throat.
Hey all, I'm knew to all of this gosh darn bloggin, but not to the enternet.....you may have seen me on some sort of chat casiono.com or something wacky. It was queeftastic. Fuck You. You know you know me.

FAST FOOD FRENZY



Its a bird...Its a plane...Its Superman Coach Dick?

Not even great American Antoine Dodson could pull off PSYCHE of this magnitude

Dating Video... Watch Out Ladies


Dating Montage
Uploaded by smithy00101. - See more comedy videos.

Check out the petafile at 3:18 "life is a playground and I want somebody to play with."
Yeah, if your "Playground" is literally is a playground, and you have some candy, im sure you will find somebody to play with. Maybe you'll even get famous like MJ...